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We recently looked at how to better focus on tasks which need our complete attention to get the results we want, but when we look at Focus in a more general sense, life gets a bit more interesting.

The world is a mass of stimuli and we, as humans, can not take it all in, so our brains filter a lot of it out. This is normal and how we survive from complete overwhelm on a daily basis.

Have you ever missed something really obvious which was happening right in front of you because you have been focussing on something else? Yes? Well, you're not alone and here I will explain why.

When we feel down, have had a hard day or a string of bad luck, it’s easy to link them all together. We often then start to ask ourselves dead-end questions such as;

  • Why does this always happen to me?
  • Why does no-one love me?
  • Why do I deserve all this bad luck?
  • Why do my kids always misbehave in public?
  • Why can't I just get this right?

The problem with this is that this becomes our minds overarching focus, and our brains will often then run away with themselves on a quest to find us all the evidence it can to prove us right. But is this helpful? No

For example, if we are asking ourselves “Why do I always fail?” Firstly, it means we already believe that this is true, and secondly, even if we find an answer, it is not going to make us feel any better.

However, the brain is an amazing tool which - when asked the right questions - can help shift our focus, change our mindset and help to find us much more valuable answers.

So, instead of asking ourselves dead-end questions or letting us believe negative thoughts, once we know the science, we can start to tell our brains how to act.

We can start to re-phrase our questions and beliefs into proactive ones, giving our minds a better focus and setting our brains off on the task of finding us the proof we need to make us feel better, such as:

  • How much evidence can I find that I’m loved/a good mother/good at my job?
  • How can I make this a more positive experience?
  • What is good about this?
  • How can I minimise the negative impact this will have?

When asked in the right way, these questions will prompt our brain to firstly attempt to come up with evidence to prove we are correct, then go on its own mission to to find more productive answers for us.

So, having a clear focused mind is really about our inner story and the questions we are asking ourselves in our own minds.

If we ask ourselves the right questions, we will search for the right answers, ones which can open doorways to a better mindset and a brighter future.

Would you like to know more about Life and Mindset Coaching with Jenni Donato? Why not join our private community 'More to Me than Mum'. The group is a positive and fun community for mothers wanting to rediscover their confidence, find their inner smile and start a new chapter of happiness and fulfillment in their life.

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Jenni Donato

Jenni now works as an Award-winning Life and Mindset Coach, helping mothers to reconnect to who they are by blending simple psychology and science to design their new beginning.