So, what's it all about?
In this episode, I chat about why we lose motivation and what to do about it to get ourselves making progress again.
Often when we lose motivation, we try to ignore all the negative emotions, we try to just keep going, keep ticking off the to-do-list and punish ourselves for our negative mindset, but this could actually be doing you more harm than good!
So today I chat about the 3 main reasons we lose motivation and what to do if you've set some big goals, you're working hard every single day but you never seem to be getting any closer.
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Hello and welcome to this episode of Mindset and Method, the podcast for female entrepreneurs to level up their lives and level up their businesses. So today we are gonna talk about what to do when it kind of all seems impossible.
You know, when you hit that moment where you are like, oh. Some big goals for so long, and I've never seemed to get that much closer to them. Yes, I'm learning a lot and I'm doing a lot, and I'm working really hard, but it all just seems a bit impossible. So we are gonna talk about the three biggest reasons why that happens and why I see that happen with my clients and what to do about it.
Because we need to recognize when we're feeling like this so we can do something about it. And I talk to so many clients who kind of say, Well, I know I shouldn't be, [00:01:00] you know, dwelling in these negative emotions or focusing on the negatives.
Um, but I'm trying to ignore them. And I say, No, don't ignore them. Okay. , one of the biggest things is your negative emotions are trying to tell you something. They are trying to give you a message about how you can improve, you can grow. Um, so a lot of people say, Oh, you just try and ignore that kind of inner bitch that we all have.
Just ignore her, try to. Tell her off, um, put her in this kind of bad place, Put her on the naughty step. Just ignore her. But no, we want to, um, like, you know, the gentle parenting people say, now you've gotta listen to your kids and acknowledge what they're saying, um, because they give you massive clues about what's going on and how you can help.
Um, so you know, that's really important. when we are feeling like, Oh my God, like I've set these massive [00:02:00] goals every year. You might be feeling like this as it comes towards the end of the year. You know, if you've set some big goals at the beginning of the year, um, and you are still not there. You know, if you followed a few people a couple of years ago who were talking about five K months and 10 K months, and you just assumed that, you know, after a year or two you would be there and you are not, it can really make you feel crap.
It can really make you feel like, Oh, I never reach those big goals. I'm constantly working and taking off the little girls, but it never helps me get to that big vision, you know? Is it all. Just a bit too much for me. Like how does it look so easy for everybody else that everyone else seems to be smashing these limits that we put on ourselves.
You know, the five K months, the 10 K months, all of this that people are talking about. But success is really down to you. You've gotta define your own version of success, so make it really personal. And then, [00:03:00] you know, you don't get this imposter syndrome as much. Um, and a lot of people are like, Oh, maybe I should just give up, right?
Maybe I should just give up. Um, and if you are feeling like that or you've ever felt like that, um, then I'm gonna tell you the three main reasons why, and then I'm gonna tell you what to do about it so you can get yourself back on track. So let's dive into the three main reasons why we feel like this, why we feel.
Oh, it's just never gonna happen for us, or it just all seems impossible. Reason number one of why we always kind of feel, Oh my God, what's happening? I feel a bit crap. Like I'm not reaching my goals. Is all of this just a bit impossible for me? Um, is that your vision is too vague.
I get this all the time. People have this kind of vision. Maybe they have an idea of where they wanted their business to go when they set it up. Maybe they have these kind of goals of, Oh yeah, I'd love [00:04:00] to smash my pre-kids salary by working with myself from home. You know, they have these kind of little, little goals and definitions of success, but there's no detail behind them, and I think this is the danger zone when it comes to.
Vision boards is that we put stuff on there, we make it really visual. We put maybe pictures on there and we make it all look really amazing, but there's no detail behind it. There's no facts and figures there. So for me, that's just like a bit of a dream. That's a bit of a wish. If you haven't got any detail in your vision, You can't work back from your vision and try and figure out the actions you need to make and the actions you need to take to make it happen.
And that's really important, right? Working back from your vision and going into the nuts and bolts of it all. This, you know, getting the detail there, it's really important because then your brain, you like, [00:05:00] focuses in on it in a different way and you get this kind of, okay, that actually looks doable.
Like I can see the journey I need to take to make that vision happen now. And that's all about the detail in your vision. So if you don't have. In your vision or if you have a vision board that's been up there for a while and you think, Oh my God, that's never gonna happen because I'm just not doing what I need to be doing to make it happen, but I don't really know what to do.
Or, you know, it's because you haven't got the detail there so that you can break it down and figure out the actions you need to take to make it happen. It's as simple as that. And Pete, I see this time and time again and it's just because we. Because we are all busy, right? A lot of us are moms, so we are juggling the business and the kids and everything else, you know?
And we don't have any idea, like you might have a favorite car that you think, Oh yeah, when I'm massively successful, I'll get that. I'll get that car. Um, but if you don't know how much it costs, [00:06:00] you'll never, your subconscious will never tune in to actually where you need to pick yourself up to, to make it start to seem possible.
And this is the thing about vision boards. It's got to seem possible.
That better picture of the journey that you need to take to get what you want. And this is where I see so many people going wrong. This vision that you have, people never work back from it and go, Okay, what does that mean in terms of like this year, this month, today? Like, what can I do? How do I work backwards to know the actual.
, tasks I need to do and actions I need to take to start to see this journey to, to making this happen. And one of the biggest things that happens if you don't have the detail in your vision is that you don't believe you can do it because you, you can't see the journey. You can't see. The progress you have to make and the steps that you have to make to get there.
So you just don't believe it's gonna happen. [00:07:00] So it just ends up as like a vision board on the wall of like pretty pictures that actually, you know, It just doesn't ever seem to come any closer. And you do that with, you know, finance. If you have these big money goals, um, that you haven't worked back from and figured out, like, okay, how would my business model actually reach that number?
Okay. If you've got a goal in your head of like, I would love to be 10 K months, right? How does what you sell now add up to 10,000 pounds? Right. If you are selling things for 15 quid, you are gonna have to sell a lot of 15 quid things to make 10 grand. If you are selling coaching packages of 5,000 pounds, you need to make two sales to make 10 K a month.
Okay. So like, If you have these figures, you need to work backwards. What's your business model at the moment? How many leads are you getting in? How much are you growing your audience [00:08:00] by? How much do you need to sell to get to that number? If you just do some rough squiggles on a bit of paper, it actually makes it either seem more possible.
Or it makes you realize, okay, my business model in this format with this strategy is not gonna get me there. I need to change something about what I'm selling, what I'm doing, how I'm doing it, so that I can get to there. So that's the great thing about having the detail in the vision. It all gives your subconscious that little bit of food to actually work on. To actually say, Okay, what I'm doing right now is not gonna get me that.
So I need to change something. I need to change what I'm selling. I need to change this direction. I need to drop this one thing that I'm doing that's not gonna get me there and pick up this other thing that I've thought about doing that. Now I can see that's the way that would actually get me to there.
But you can't do that without the detail. So that was number one of [00:09:00] reasons why. Um, you might be feeling like, Oh my God, it's just not possible for me. Um, is that your vision's too vague and you need to do some work on your vision and build the detail into it and build backwards from there.
Um, number two, on reasons why you might be feeling like that. is you're not doing the work. . Okay? Sounds so simple, but it's so true. It's like you have the vision there again, you have the vision there. Maybe you've done the detail, Maybe you know the numbers, maybe you know the facts and the figures, and you've given yourself deadlines.
But you are just not doing the work. And there's a number of reasons why that might happen. Um, but the biggest thing is that you're just not taking the right action. So it's not really about doing the work, it's doing the right work that's gonna get you to that vision. So many people have shiny thing. So many people get [00:10:00] distracted with other things, and generally this happens if we have a little weak point in our mindset.
Maybe somebody says to us, Oh, you know, you'll never make money out of doing it that way. You wanna do it this way. This is where the money is. So you're like, Okay, like I'm gonna divert over here for a little while because this is where someone's told me where the money is. You know, you see a competitor doing something else, or you see a competitor with all of these different things.
Maybe they've got five different offerings. Maybe, you know, if you are a service based industry or a coach, maybe they've got a membership and a course and a program and a one-to-one offer, and you are like, Crap, I need all of these things. And you're trying to put everything in place. But if you'd done the maths from your vision, you would know.
That trying to put five different offers in place and selling them all to a new audience, if you're new in business, is not going to, it's not the easiest way to get you to that, you know, 10 k a month if that [00:11:00] is, is your target or whatever your target is. Um, so you've gotta, this is why you need the detail in the vision, so you can work backwards to figure out your business strategy and your business model that's gonna help you get there.
And you then need to take the action. That is solely aligned to that business model. Okay? You need to avoid the distractions of other things. Um, and that is so difficult. So many people build up what I call an onion business. So they've tried one thing and they've thought, Okay, that hasn't really worked.
I'll try something else. Or I'll do something else, or I'll open a membership, or I'll start a podcast so many people have so many moving parts to their business that they're just spinning all these plates and then you realize whatever your goal was.
You're not doing the things that are reaching your goal because you're too busy spinning all of these plates, trying to make everything work, and you haven't got the time and energy [00:12:00] and focus to focus on the one or two or three things in your business that really, when it fits together, it's gonna lead you to that vision.
Um, . So number two is all about doing the right work that leads you step by step to that vision and not trying to do it all at once. Because if you are looking at your competitors who, who have all of these things, you are looking at their chapter eight. You might be only be on your chapter three as a business, right?
They might have got done Chapter one, introduced one thing, made it work, made it convert, understood how to make money from it, then moved on to the next thing. They've built it up block by block. Getting each step working first before they move on to the next thing. That's how successful businesses grow.
Um, when we try and copy that and emulate that, and we have this imposter syndrome, Oh, that person over there is where we wanna be and they've got all this stuff, we ought to put all of this stuff in place first. [00:13:00] We're never doing any of them. Right. And we never figure out how we convert each block before we move onto the next one.
Um, so this is why Shiny Thing syndrome is so dangerous because you, you get excited about one thing, you put it in place and then you don't do the hard bit, which is understanding how that thing's gonna convert. Understanding how to sell it, you know, automating it so it takes you less time to. And to deliver, you know, all of the hard bit analyzing the data to figure out what bits of this funnel, if it, if we're talking funnels, what bits of it's not working, what bit is where people are dropping through.
All of that's the boring stuff, right? It's the stuff that takes the time and the energy and the dedication to get right. It's that getting it right and getting it working, getting it, making money, and that is, . A lot of us just lose the emphasis and go, Okay, like that didn't work. It was [00:14:00] so easy to say, We tried it, it didn't work.
Let's do something else Instead. What you find when you look at really successful entrepreneurs is they go, Right, I tried that. But that didn't work. Let's understand why it didn't work and figure out how to fix it before we move on to anything else. There's a vital difference in that, and if you jump from one thing to the next claiming that nothing's working, that might be your biggest problem, is that you haven't gone, This is how I want it to work.
I e, my business model that I've done. And I know how it's gonna get to my vision. I am gonna spend the time and the energy and the focus and the money maybe on making it work. That's the difference between people who. To sort of build these onion businesses and jot around doing everything and end up making no money from it.
And the difference between those kind of people and the people who make the money and get there in the end and, and reach that chapter eight [00:15:00] and go like, Yes, I have these five offerings and they're all converting, they're all making me money. And yes, I'm still. Got work to do on them, but actually I've figured out one thing before I've moved on to the next thing.
So number two is that you are not doing the work. You're not sticking with it long enough to actually make it work. You're kind of maybe a bit quick to say that in work, let's move on to the next thing, and you're not taking the right action. That consistently, day by day leads you to the vision that, remember, you've done all the data and the details.
So you can see the journey and you can take that step. That is number two of why, you know, it might just all be feeling a bit impossible for you at the moment. So let's move onto number three.
Number three is a biggie, and it kind of goes across the other two as well. And number three is, You simply have a mindset block about something and you are not taking [00:16:00] the right action and you are getting distracted with all the things and you know, you are self-sabotaging and we all know what that feels like so number three is a bit more complicated. We don't really know. Um, what that mindset block is. But some of us, a lot of us have this kind of, I can't, I know something's like going on here. I know what I need to do. Like, I don't think there's many people out there who actually don't know or don't have a foggiest about how to grow a business, right?
I think you've all heard the same stuff, right? You've gotta get an audience, you've gotta get the no, like trust factor. Oh my God, we've been talking about that for decades, right? , you know this stuff, but a lot of you aren't doing it, and I've given you a couple of reasons. Maybe your vision's a bit vague.
Maybe you're just not doing the work, the right work and keeping focus. Maybe you're being distracted with the shiny things and all of that. But the biggest thing here is that you might have a mindset [00:17:00] block that is just stopping you from taking the right action. Um, and you need to stop and pause. Figure out what that mindset block is.
Cuz if you can clear that taking the mindset block out of the equation means you can get stuff done so much faster. You feel so much more motivated, you're so much more focused, you're so much more confident that you, if you are confident and you really believe in your vision and you can see the path there, like we're talking about, you're gonna find it way easier to.
No, that distraction is not gonna help me get over there, so I'm not gonna do it. You're gonna say no to the right stuff as well as Yes to the right stuff. . , , so let me give you some examples of some of the classic mindset blocks that some of my clients have had and, and I know they're the common ones across kind of loads of us in the industry.
Um, first one, um, was a really interesting client that I had who had [00:18:00] a massive mindset block around successful people being organized. Um, and she really believed that successful people are organized, and because I'm not organized, I'm never gonna be successful. And that really manifested itself in her wasting a lot of time thinking about how she should be more organized and punishing herself for being a bit messy.
Right. I am a scrap. Messy person. Um, but luckily I don't have that belief, so I still, I'm happy with that. Um, and we moved her to a place where she was like, Successful people can be a bit disorganized and as long as I know where everything is and it works for me, there's no reason why I can't be successful and a bit disorganized.
As soon as we cleared that, um, she had so much more time and head space to focus on the stuff she needed to focus on, to get to her goal, to get to her vision, because she didn't constantly feel bad for not tidying her desk or have everything color [00:19:00] coded or have everything in alphabetic order that.
Stuff where we are supporting our mindset blocks without even realizing. It takes so much time and energy and focus away from I know what I want. I know how to get there, what actions do I need to take to actually do it and make it happen? Um, so that was a classic one that I loved because it was kind of subtle for her.
Um, and until we really got to the bottom of it and cleared it, and it made a massive difference to her. So that was, um, a one that I. , another one, um, is I've already failed. So what's the point? Like we, I get this a few, I've had this recently with a couple of clients as well. Um, and it's kind of, you know, I've tried everything.
I've tried everything and none of it's work. So what's the point? Nothing's ever gonna work. Okay? And this can be linked to our, I'm not good enough. Like, why would anyone ever get it from me? There's so many other people out there. . And the thing about this [00:20:00] is that we've kind of given up on ourselves before we've even done it.
And, and this goes back to number two, it's like we're doing the wrong kind of stuff, right? If we are feeling like, Oh, I've done everything. I've tried everything. None of it's worked. Like you have probably been in this cycle of trying one thing, not sticking at it, dropping it, and then moving on to the next thing.
And then so you're like, Okay, well I've. The freebie into the email sequence. I've tried the Facebook ad thing, I've tried showing up for, for live videos. Time and time again, I've done it all and none of it's worked for me. So like I'm just gonna sit here and flip back and forth between everything again.
And, and, but I'm not gonna believe anything's gonna work for me because I've tried it all and we need to shift that. Okay. We need to do it in a different way. We need to set our vision, We need to set the detail, we need to set how we are gonna be successful, and then we are gonna make it work. So [00:21:00] if you love doing Facebook Lives, offering a freebie and getting people on your email list to nurture them and get to know them, then make that happen.
Do it repeatedly until you understand how to make it. That's really, really important. So that is another one. It's like, Oh, I've already done all the things. None of them have ever worked, so why is it gonna work now? And that's a really tricky one to get out of as well, cuz that's a, until you've made that mindset shift, nothing's gonna change.
And I guess this is my point about number three. Is that nothing's gonna change unless you do some work on your mindset. And unfortunately that does mean pausing with some of the business strategy and the business model stuff for a bit, which is what your brain is telling you you've gotta get into to make it work.
And doing the mindset work, which is. You know, it takes a bit of a commitment. It takes a bit of hard work in terms of emotional commitment to try and understand that. Um, so [00:22:00] we've had a few. I'm not organized enough to be successful. I've already failed. So what's the point? I'm not good enough. Why would anyone buy from me?
All of these blocks that we have. Um, another one that I see a lot is I don't need a lot of money. I'm not greedy. I just want to help. Like this is a classic, especially for us ladies here. Yes, it's true. We do wanna help people, but if we have the belief that, Oh, I don't wanna earn a lot of money. I don't wanna be greedy, I don't need a lot of money to be happy, I just wanna help people.
The problem with that is we are not thinking about what we are doing as a business. We are thinking about what we are doing as a. Okay. If you have a hobby, you do something you love, in this case, helping other people. Okay? That's a hobby because we are not learning how to make money from it. And if you don't learn how to make money from it, you have, you're not growing a business now.
A lot of us feel like that, and then when we don't make money from it, . We're like, Oh [00:23:00] crap, we've failed in business. This is never work gonna work. I can't do this for long because it's costing me more money than I'm making. So actually, you've gotta acknowledge money is important to you because you wanna build a successful business because you wanna help people.
If you don't have a sustainable business that keeps you running with the amount of money that you wanna be pulling in from it, you can't help anyone because your business is gonna fail. Making money out of your business is important for helping people. This is a mindset shift we need to make. So what you need to acknowledge is you wanna build a sustainable business, which means you need to learn how to make money out of the thing you like doing. And it's. It's not mutually exclusive, right? You can help people and make money at the same time. In fact, you need to, to run a successful business.
Um, so that's a, that's an interesting one. And until you clear that [00:24:00] nothing you do is ever gonna reach you to any goals that you set in terms of helping people or making money, So here's another one. Um, this is potentially based in a belief that sales people are sleazy. Asking for money is bad. Asking for money is greedy. Um, sales is like your sleazy, double glazing salesperson on the phone. If you have a negative relationship with sales, you're gonna hate asking for money for what you do.
But all asking for money is, is an exchange. It's like, Look, I'm gonna give you this amazing thing, to make you super confident in your business, to help you show up in your business, help you get visible, help you step onto that stage.
That's gonna be amazing transformation for you. And in exchange, I'm swapping that for your money. Would you like to spend your money on getting that result? Yes. Okay. Let's do the swap. I'm swapping you this amazing thing and you are giving me money for it. It's factual. It's not [00:25:00] emotional, so hating asking for money.
Is about your emotional relationship with sales. Okay? It's about your beliefs that you have around sales people. It's about something maybe that's happened to you in the past or maybe your parents have said to you, Oh my God, it's another sleazy salesman on the phone. So what's your, You gotta understand what's your relationship with sales, because you've gotta twist that to a positive. Okay. Selling something, somebody that is gonna make them a massive transformation is gonna allow them to step onto that stage with confidence, promote their business, make loads and loads of money out of it, if that's what is holding them back.
And all they're doing is swapping that transformation for their money. And that's a choice for. Right. That's nothing to do with you. If they wanna spend X amount of money getting that result, that's their decision. That has nothing to do with you. All you are doing is making the offer. I can give you this.
I can help massively boost your [00:26:00] confidence in your business, help you step on a stage, but I can do all of that, which is gonna help you skyrocket your business, and it is up to you whether you wanna pay me x amount. And this is the difference between how men and women sell. Okay? Men go, Look, here's a cheeseburger.
It's 3 99. Do you want it or not? And people will go, Yeah, I'm hungry. I want that cheeseburger. Here's my money. Women go, Right here's a cheeseburger. It's 3 99. But. I kind of feel bad about that because of the cost of living crisis and the energy costs I can see are really hungry and you've got kids that are really hungry and I feel really bad about asking for money for it.
Maybe I'll try my hardest to do the best deal I possibly can to give you this cheeseburger cheaper than 3 99. Okay. You know, I can't really think. Just like have it half price. No, just, just take it. I know you're hungry. Take the cheeseburger. That's how women sell because we are so emotionally invested in the selling process and we have [00:27:00] all these kind of negative connotations around.
Let's do a quick recap before I give you three simple things to do to help you with all of this stuff. First of all, your vision's too vague. Second, you're not doing the work, you're not doing the right work that leads you to your vision. Number three, which is a biggie, is you have some kind of mindset block about it. Um, and those are your three things.
All you need to do is make sure whatever vision you are using, whether that's a vision board or something else, um, you know, make sure the details in it.
Make sure there's facts and figures in it. Make sure you have a timeline in it and make sure you're using it daily to work backwards to figure out the actions you need to take to help you get there. That's number one. Um, detail vision. Decide the actions and actually do them. That's number two. And number three is stay focused.
Stay confident. Try to believe in yourself. [00:28:00] Work on your mindset so that you can believe the path that you are gonna take is gonna get you the results that you want. If you believe that you are less likely to be distracted by all the other stuff you could be doing, and you are more likely to do the actions you need to take to get you the results that you want.
Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Your Mindset and Method podcast. If you want to grow your business and you're struggling with maybe the confidence or the strategy, To be able to really take it big. Then why not try my 30 minute do it yourself business growth audit. You can find this on my [email protected] slash growth audit.
It's completely free and it will take you through a 30 minute process to audit your business. It will help you to develop a success mindset and get clarity over your business right now and what potential it [00:29:00] has for growth, and it will help you discover more about how you spend your time and where you are wasting it.
It will also help you to define your vision for the future and set your goals so you can wake up excited every day. Knowing how to push your business forward. So take the business, jenny deto.com. Thank you so, and I'll see you again for the next episode.