The definition of Self-Doubt is simply the lack of confidence in ourselves and our own abilities. Now, the world seems to be talking about how we all suffer from Self-Doubt, either at home through parenting or our own personal challenges, or at work or a new venture - sometimes known as Imposter Syndrome and you can click here to find out more - but the problem with this focus is that it always promotes the negative.
When our minds are focused on the negative - for example, if we ask ourselves "why do suffer from Self-Doubt" - it just gives our minds the task to find us an answer. Is this what we really want? Do we really want to know why we suffer Self-Doubt? Or do we want to know what to do about it?
So let's try something a little bit different....
Where ever you are, just sit and think "I suffer from Self-Doubt", now how does that feel? how are you sitting? how's your posture? what do you think about next?
Now sit for a minute and change that thought to "I would love to be more Self-Confident", now how does that feel? how are you sitting? how's your posture? and what do you think about next?
I'm guessing the second statement felt a lot more positive, you may have even shifted your posture between the two, and you may have started to think about ways you could become more confident? This is the power of asking ourselves the right questions, in the right way and this - in simple - is how we shift the focus in our own minds. Shifting the focus from wondering why we are so self-conscious, why we doubt our own decisions and why we seem to have little confidence in our own abilities to how we can change and become the person we want to be.
So how do we move from Self-Doubt to Self-Confidence in 3 Simple Steps?
1) Find the Triggers
Firstly we need to find out where the feelings of low confidence or doubting ourselves comes from. What is the trigger to feeling this way? Is it a general feeling or something very specific linked to a certain insecurity or a specific event in our past?
Quite often if we can notice when the feelings arise and analyse these afterwards - at a time when we feel more balanced and calm - we can start to see patterns arising in our emotional triggers which give us clues to where these come from.
2) Deal with the underlying emotion
Once we can see the patterns in what causes us to feel the feelings of low-confidence or self-doubt, we can uncover the underlying event or emotion that we haven't dealt with completely. For example, self-doubt around our own style of parenting may be caused by an unresolved trigger from disagreeing with the way we were parented when we were children.
Another example could be self-doubt around a diet or a new exercise routine which we would love to accomplish but have never quite achieved. This may stem from an emotional connection with food formed when we were young, or a negative link between exercise and enjoyment which we haven't quite found the correct balance for.
More often than not, once we can see the underlying emotional trigger and where this came from, we can start to question whether the story we have created for ourselves is one we want to continue to live by, or change.
3) Decide on a different course of action, and know where we are trying to go
The third step is really as simple as deciding on a different course of action and re-writing the story we tell ourselves. To do this we need to know the destination, in detail, and we need to make sure the reason we are doing it is for us, and only us.
So "I want to lose weight because I feel fat, none of my clothes fit properly, I feel self-conscious when I go out, oh and I don't think my husband fancies me anymore" becomes "I want to become the person I always wanted to be, I want to be ...x... stone lighter, I want to look like ....x... and feel like ...x... and the benefits of achieving this goal for me will be ...x..."
Once we know our destination, Self-Doubt will fade because we start to live with intention. We start to understand that the decisions we make in life fit with the bigger plan we have for ourselves and we start to develop the confidence that every brave decision, every hard step forward and every time we push ourselves outside our comfort zone is because of our own goals, our story and for our vision of our own future.
If you would like to start a new venture, or simply figure out what it is you want from your own future, why not work through my FREE Mindset Map by clicking here.