Have you ever been told "Just be grateful for what you've got?" Did it make you feel better in that moment? If the answer is no, then read on to find out why.
During our childhood, most of us were taught that we should be grateful for what we have. However, many of us now unconsciously use gratitude to shame ourselves out of feeling a certain way, and this doesn’t usually end well!
Lets look at an example - "I am so angry at my kids but I should be grateful they are just healthy". This way of layering gratitude on top of a negative emotion in an attempt to make us feel better will - most of the time - backfire.
Papering over our true feelings with a feeling that we should be grateful actually just makes us feel worse. This is because we then feel guilty for not actually feeling that grateful and - on top of this - we still haven’t actually dealt with the original feeling or emotion.
Top Tip - Anytime we tell ourselves we should feel something, take notice. We are more than likely creating a moral value, which will be followed by a feeling of obligation and then a feeling of shame when we can't persuade ourselves to feel that way.
So, how do we combat this?
We need to sit and deal with the original feeling, ignore the gratitude trap and really take the time to understand how we feel, and why. Don't fall into the common Mind Trap which makes us believe we are a terrible person for feeling the way that we feel.
Our feelings are just that – feelings, and they do not reflect the type of person we are.
Only when we have taken full responsibility for our core feelings and understood them, can we make a conscious decision about whether to accept them, reject them or do something about them.
Todays Challenge - Take notice if you start to feel like you 'should' be doing something or feeling a certain way. STOP. Actually think about the original feeling, don't negatively judge yourself, just dig deep to try to figure out why you're feeling that way and what you can do about it without covering it with another action or feeling.
What to do next....
All the ‘Free Your Mind’ techniques take time and practice. But now you have some new knowledge, why not download my FREE Mindset Map, which will show you how to put everything you have learned into practice. To get your FREE copy straight to your Inbox, click here.
In this FREE Mindset Map, I outline an amazing and enjoyable journey of self-discovery. A journey that will lead you to a happier and more fulfilling future. A life full of energy and positivity and filled with a feeling of calm and inner balance.
I share my signature framework, The 5-Stage Mindset Makeover Method to:
- Get to know yourself better, take back control and uncover what your values and drivers in life are
- Start to see the world differently and develop a mindset which will naturally move you towards a more positive outlook on life
- Start the process of designing your own path forward and creating the impetus to taking those first all-important steps
- Start to make real change, gain momentum and what to do if you deviate from your path (or stop completely!)
- Arrive at your destination and what to do next!
Photo's used for our 7-day challenge were provided by local up-and-coming photographer Dominique-Alana Photography